November is the month of Remembrance.  The very first day of the yearís penultimate month is All Saintsí Day, when we give thanks to God for all those saints of His who have shone like lights in their several generations.  The second day of November is All Soulsí Day when we will be having a United Benefice service at 6 oíclock at All Saints', Feering.  This will be a very special and moving service when we will be remembering by name our departed loved ones.

If you would like loved ones who have died to be remembered at this service then do fill out the mauve form which accompanied last month's magazine (further forms are to be found at the back of both parish churches) and return it to the Vicar as soon as possible.  At the six oíclock service on Sunday, November 2nd, I will read out all the names which I have received, of those you have loved and lost, as a candle is lit on the altar, one for each person thus remembered.  Then, on 8th November at 10.45a.m at St. Maryís, Kelvedon - we join with the nation on Remembrance Sunday in remembering those who fell in the two great wars of the last century and in all the many other conflicts since then.

So, as the old year dies it is inevitable that we all think about Death and the Meaning of and Purpose of Life in the month of November.  Sometimes, at a funeral service, a request is made for some words written by Canon Henry Scott Holland to be read out.  These words were penned when he lost his own wife ? I reproduce them below.  Yet, I always think that the opening phrase ? ìDEATH IS NOTHING AT ALLî ? is misleading, for I know full well that the death of a loved one brings with it a great deal of sadness, suffering and heart ache.  Far from being ìNOTHING AT ALLî ? it seems at times of bereavement as though EVERYTHING has gone with the passing of someone who is dearly beloved.  Therefore, following Canon Scott Hollandís words I have reproduced some words of Father Christopher Idle on the meaning of Death.  These words seem to me to present a fuller, rounder, more realistic picture of the turmoil which Death so often brings.  In this month of November ? this month of Remembrance ? I hope that these words will bring help and comfort to all who have suffered from the sting, which the death of a loved one can bring.
 

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL

I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you: whatever we were
To each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone, wear
No forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes
we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be forever the same as it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it always was,
there is absolutely unbroken continuity.
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just around the corner ?
All is well.
 

DEATH A TIME FOR LISTENING, SPEAKING, SILENCE, LOVING

Death is sometimes our enemy, sometimes our friend.
As an enemy, it may shatter our lives, cut short our time, diminish our families and circle of friends.  We do not often invite it to come, nor choose the time of its arrival.  In this world we do have enemies, the Scriptures say death is the last.  Yet, for the Christian, even death has lost its sting; Christ has made it a friend in spite of itself.  Its victory is empty; its triumph will soon pass; it cannot have the last word.  But it may still become our helper; not only a milestone but a signpost.  It may lead us back to God if we have wandered away, or towards him if we have often been distant.

Death is a time for listening.  Listening to friends, reading their words, listening to memories, hearing their music, listening to God in the quiet of my heart.
Death is a time for speaking.  Telling the joys, memories past, telling the hopes, partly fulfilled; telling of growing and travelling, learning and finding, laughter and tears, a time for talk and a time for stories.
Death is a time for silence.  When the words fail, sitting alone or quiet with my friends, watching or waiting, thinking and looking, the silence of prayer.
Death is a time for loving.  Love never fails, love to the end; love of all who love me and those who do not; love to heal wounds, love to accept, love to build bridges, love to forgive and know Iím forgiven.  Love that is from God; God who is love: God who first loved me.
 

EVERY BLESSING,
FATHER DAVID